An open letter about friendship.

Lately more than even, since becoming a Mum, I’ve felt a longing for you. 

A reassurance at the end of the phone, a friend who is there at each milestone of my life, the first person to tell I’ve had a healthy baby boy, a friend who won’t judge how messy my kitchen worktop is.

Lately I’ve grown into the habit of curling up on the settee with a hot chai latte, snuggled up in a cardigan, something which you taught me to do to unwind.

I was so different back then. So busy and determined, my own life priorities got in the way of a friendship that was built upon trust and respect. I got a little bit lost.

When I ditched all my pre-pregnancy clothes and grew not only a human but a new wardrobe post-pregnancy, I reached for knits, and denim shorts with tights. A uniform which made me smile with comfort and closeness. I pictured you again.

The way my baby boy smiles at me makes me feel completely and utterly gracious and in awe of life. I wish I could share that joy with you. I wish you knew I was a Mum now.

Then there’s Peter, Beatrix, Benjamin and Flopsy that are adorned all around his nursery, we haven’t got onto Brambly Hedge just yet, but I’m sure we’ll get onto them.

I remember my wedding day like almost yesterday, and usually around May of each year I look into my wardrobe and pull out the beautiful veil you made me. Intricate in detail and one of a kind, I look at it with sadness that we are no longer friends anymore.

I wonder if you are still reading Jacqueline Wilson books. I wonder if you too are a Mum now. 

I so deeply wish that one day our paths cross again.

A x