Monday, 23 October 2017

Pregnancy Truths, Anxiety, Love & Maternity Leave

Well hello 29 weeks. Let me tell you one thing I have learnt… that your pregnancy to everybody else will seem like the quickest thing ever, but when you are pregnant it is the slowest thing ever. I feel as if I have been pregnant forever! Pregnancy has confirmed I am truly an impatient person.

But, let’s remember that although it might seem a long time to me, I haven’t sat down and poured my thoughts out in a blog post since the beginning of this journey. Post-Bali, blessed with happiness, and feeling totally wholesome.

Physically – everything has changed. Now my body is no stranger to change, and I truly believe the non-existent stretch marks are due to my weight loss 5 years ago. Basically, there was extra skin from when I was much bigger, so my stomach already had some ‘give.’ But gosh, the belly. Now, I know it’s so cliché to say this, but I don’t think I ever grasped how slim I was pre-pregnancy. I look at photos from this YEAR – ahem New York City and look unrecognisable. Yet at the time I never felt that confident in my body shape.

But, that’s where the beauty of pregnancy lies. Because, since I became pregnant all those insecurities and worries I carried with me, were left behind when I saw the positive line on the pregnancy test. Strangely, I have felt the most confident in my body and appearance – I am in love with my bump!

I remember one evening brushing through my hair and realising suddenly, my hair had gone crazy. Like super shiny, natural wavy, thick and bouncy. I was amazed. Was this the blooming all my pregnancy books had told me about?

My skin and complexion has been great too – I’ve spent more days without make-up than wearing make-up. It’s a hormone surge and I know it’s made me realise that there is far more beauty in natural beauty.

But, then there’s the anxiety. I have struggled with anxiety a lot though this pregnancy, due to various circumstances I have been battling those niggling worries. It really is a bonkers thing – being pregnant and I’m going to admit it’s sent me a little crazy. In the sense, that I snap at everything, I have no patience for anyone or anything, I can laugh so loud people think I am going to wet myself, then the next minute feel at an ultimate low.

This is the time in my life I wish someone had prepared me for. Because, every day is full of worry. Combining a full-time job, with a long commute has basically tipped me over. (I’m a 28-year old professional woman and have now cried at work at least a dozen times IN FRONT of everyone). But, my maternity leave is on the horizon and I know by the time I leave work, I will insanely miss it.

Although my belly and brain may well be on another planet, my love has remained sincere. Every single day I feel a surge of love for the tiny baby inside of me right now, every kick and movement makes me fall deeper and deeper in love.

The next 11 weeks may see a long way away, but because this baby’s arrival is right at the start of the New Year, it kind of means we have Christmas first. Hurrah. So, I reckon baking, wrapping, shopping and eating are going to keep me occupied for the final stretch.


1 comment

  1. I can totally relate to this - things have gone so quickly, but at the same time I feel like I've been pregnant for about 47 years. I know I'll miss the bump, but I'm getting very impatient to meet the baby now! Hope things feel more manageable once your maternity leave starts.

    Liz x
    Distract Me Now Please


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