Sunday, 24 July 2016

Why Worry?

This year has been rocky. Rocky, in the sense that no two days have been the same, and no amount of time has ever been enough.
There is no denying that I am my own worst enemy at times. Which is why I worry. Worry over my health, my fitness, my weight, my house, my family and my job.  All of these worries, however insignificant or minor have caused a lot of stress.
A flower on incense in Vietnam. 
But, worrying is a natural state of mind. We all worry. It’s just putting in enough positivity to banish them away and put them to bed.  
What I’ve really learnt is that fighting fear, being open to change, and vowing to never give up is the real path to happiness.

I know this better than anyone, I’ve fought so many times for happiness. I should know that what you put into something, ultimately is what you get back out.

I’m certain that life is full of surprises and challenges. I know life is a cycle and we have to work at it – and I think it’s time I started putting that passion and belief – I know is so strong and vibrant back at the forefront of my life.

Because, that girl who fell in love with every exotic fruit imaginable, travelled the world and back and dreamt of writing for a living … is still very much there. She’s a BIG dreamer at heart. 

Let's stop worrying over the small things.
And, let life just surprise me. 

Sunday, 10 July 2016

What is Normal anyway?

When I was thirteen there was one girl who I admired more than any other, she wore a black dress, and owned four black cats. Her name was Emily Strange. She was very much fictional, but every part real to me.

I adorned my walls with her posters, I dressed in her t-shirts and spoke of nothing else but how cool it would be to be her, one day.

Now we all know, I didn’t actually grow up to be her. I did break out of my black uniform, and I did get a cat. But he was grey and much fluffier.

Admiring kitty graffiti in George Town, Penang.
The point is I’m wondering whether that little part of Emily Strange is still in me. Because, as I grow older I find myself living a stranger lifestyle...

Yes, I am married, own a house, work a job and drive a car. These are pretty normal things. But, I wonder if my personality, hobbies, interests and dreams really fall into any sort of normality at all.

I laugh ridiculously loud, I get far too excited when I am happy and I find myself proclaiming my love for fruit at every opportunity.

I dream big and I never stop soul searching. I daydream over daydream – and still have a maddening desire to see the WHOLE world. My dreams play a massive part in my life.

I find it hard to relax and switch off, I refuse to let anyone dampen my spirit – but often only see the good in people.

I’m wondering whether it really is possible to live a normal life with an extraordinary personality?

Sometimes it almost feels, as if I am battling the two. 


Sunday, 3 July 2016

Evoking Happiness

An Bang Beach - Hoi An, Vietnam 
Is it okay to be have moments of uncertainty and dare I say: unhappiness?

I always seem to hit a brick wall in summer time – I am definitely more productive and natural in winter months. Summer seems to somewhat drain me of motivation and I always seem to hit a bump along the road.

For the past couple of months, I have felt stretched in so many ways. I seem to completely exhaust myself of energy and emotion – leading to a spiral of self-pity.

My heart pines for adventure, and my dreams have a way of making a re-appearance time and time again. Is there anything wrong with still having a dream? Having a death defying love for something so magical and wild it hurts – I hope not.

I am twenty-seven. I have not just one, but SO many dreams. And, I totally get that not all dreams come true, and the age old saying that we can’t have it all, at once. Maybe that's true. 

But, what can I say, other than the fact I’m still a dreamer.
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