Sunday, 18 September 2016

Drive vs Ambition

Sometimes I wonder why I still feel defeated most days?
Never stop searching.
Is it because I haven’t achieved what I set out to do in my 27 years? But, then I question what exactly was that?
A little while ago a colleague of my husband’s said how she felt I’d achieved so much...
"Alice, all you need to do is think about what you have achieved... Lost weight, got fit, ran a marathon & got the job of your dreams - if I were you I would be the most confident person ever"
I felt a klaxon go off in my mind, as I realised that all of these things… were achievements, and massive goals for me… I’d not only done them, I’d smashed them. I’d turned my life around, and somehow found my true self in the process.
But, deep down in my heart I know there’s more. So much more left to do.
Last year I drew up a 30 before 30 list to keep myself in check – I was a woman with a mission. (Like many before me). I was determined to complete not just one, but the entire 30 on my list.
Well I’m 12 down, with 18 left to go. It’s a work in progress.
What did I really expect to have achieved by now?
The truth is. I just don’t know. I’m a dreamer and I have wild ambitions to forge a life which is full of creativity, love, passion and undying happiness. Is that really possible?
Like every dream, if you believe it possible – then I truly think it is.
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