Monday, 28 December 2015

A Pursuit of Happiness

I can pinpoint the exact moment when wanderlust hit me.  It was 2 days after returning from honeymoon – we had driven to a DIY store to buy paint for our bedroom wall.  I was not happy, I was all kinds of erratic – I snapped at my (new) husband in the car on the way there and burst into tears when he asked me my opinion on what colour to choose.  It was bad, real bad.
I told myself it was completely OKAY to feel like this, after a wedding, a honeymoon… the natural life crash after such a big event.  But, then I realised that the lust …. Because that essentially what it was, was eager and pulling at my heart strings like never before.  When a work colleague poked fun at my life a few weeks later, I finally snapped - I knew exactly what it was I needed to do.  
And that was to listen to my heart: wander.

-6°C & The only girl in Iceland with macaroons on her pants!

 My desire most definitely was to travel, whether it will stay the priority in the years to follow, I don’t know.  I know my heart aches for adventure and freedom.  But, I also know work is dominant in both of our lives, as is time.
I would whole-heartedly describe travel as one of the best things that ever happened to me.  If I had never dared travel, I wouldn’t have found the answers to a lot of the questions in my life.  I still feel the love of Thailand in the bottom of my stomach every day, I still feel the warmth of Fiji in my heart and I know, there is SO much more possibility out there.
If I could teach anyone one thing, it would be this: Follow your heart, listen to the lust and wander like never before.

Saturday, 26 December 2015

Dream Catcher

2015 has been all kinds of crazy in a somewhat maddening, unrealistic vs realistic and soul searching way.  I started the year not knowing what was ahead, I was at a loss as to what I was meant to be doing (with my life, hello?), and I had a feeling of absolute gut-wrenching pain deep inside of me.  I wanted more.  So much more. 
But dare catch it?

The Blue Lagoon, Iceland - Boxing Day.
When I began listening to my dreams, my aches, and my hunger – I noticed that the determination grew and the anguish deepened.  My job was dead end, and made my imagination often run away with itself (I almost dared to drive to the beach one day).  I imagined up scenario after scenario of escaping the clutches of an unfulfilled 9-5.  Then I threw the dice and catapulted myself head first into a brand new world – which was one of the most life-changing moments, but I ended up feeling completely alien in a very grown-up life.
I realise now that dreams determine the future.  I tell people to have many dreams, because relying on just one to make you happy, doesn’t equal happiness.  My 16-year old self proclaimed a boy would make her happy, my 21-year old self proclaimed a car would make her happy – but hey guess what none of those things did.  Not wholesomely.  
Is it just me that is greedy? Or is it in fact, we all are.
I never imagined a life where I would work in a field which naturally breeds competiveness.  But, then I remember I searched long and hard for that job, and the fact it came at a time in my life where my heart was aching, and my desire was overriding my happiness.  I realise this is my time – to toughen up.
Travel eclipsed me this year.  I travelled far further than I could have ever pinned.  15 flights, 3 countries, 3 Islands and 4 cities.  Yes, I did it mostly with my incredible husband hand in hand, something we dreamed up on Honeymoon last year.  And, I wouldn’t change a single thing.  Something inside of me – the dreams (they are definitely real), take a hold of me and suddenly I find myself bathing an elephant in the middle of the rainforest.
In all honesty this blog, sometimes serves as an open letter to myself, a reminder of who I am and why I love with all of my heart, and express my every emotion in written form.  I taught myself to never look back in life, and always search for happiness.
If I told you I was as uncertain as I was at the start of the year – then that would be a lie. I am certain of my dreams.  Foremost I have the desire for adventure, and the love and passion for my job – I never did have.  
But, have I got it sussed? Absolutely fucking not.

Sunday, 20 December 2015

A Rose Between Two Thorns

When Blossoming Gifts got back in touch with me recently I was delighted to work with them again on their stunning Christmas range of flowers.
I love flowers, but with working away from home a lot recently I can’t remember the last time I bought or received any.  (Yes, sometimes giving up the little things is far harder than the big ones).

Roses often tell of great romance and always make me laugh (because I recall the moment so vividly when we checked into our Honeymoon suite and the rose petals I had imagined my entire adult life were nowhere to be seen, much to my shocked and panicked husband). 
A rose is a remarkable flower, and by far my favourite. I think my inner Disney princess will always relate to Beauty and the Beast.  

Christmas is magical, and flowers really bring around a festive feeling.  There’s no denying that cinnamon is one of my all-time favourite spices and I love the sprigs of woodland and berry’s that appear in this ‘Cinnamon Spice’ bunch.
As always blossoming gifts deliver the best in fresh flowers and the range available is simply stunning.  It’s not too late to order in time for Christmas, everyone loves an unexpected delivery of flowers – an admirer, a friend, a mother, a daughter.

Blossoming Gifts have offered a discount code for all readers, which entitles 33% off a bouquet. (the only bouquets exempt from discount is the 'Flowers By Post' range)

  I know, I’m incredibly lucky when I receive flowers , as rare as it sometimes is.  I always instantly feel a little bit perkier,whimsical and loved.  


Sunday, 13 December 2015


How did it transpire towards the end of the year already?  I should probably get into the Christmas spirit right about now, and save these thoughts for New Year’s Eve.  But, I figured by that point I will probably be fluttering around in some sort of daze. 
What did 2015 teach me?  It taught me to fight.  Fight for what is right, face your fears, but most of all - fight for your DREAMS.

  • I worked a job I despised for 9 whole months, the equivalent of a pregnancy.  My stomach churned at some point every day, I awoke in the middle of the night wondering where my life went wrong.  I ached for something, something so much more. I struggled.

  • In April, I ran the furthest and toughest race of my life, completing a half marathon entirely by myself in less than 2 hours – my personal best.   It was tough and emotional, but completely necessary; I plan on doing it again sometime.

  • I lost a friend.  At the start of the year I lost a nine-year friendship overnight.  Which, I know happened for a reason.  Sometimes, two personalities clash and this post, was an open letter to her.  The gift of friendship is as rare as is life, 2015 cemented the fact that I am very much my own best friend.  

Most significantly I got the job of my dreams *big statement*.
One extraordinary blogger and established writer Jen, who I have admired since blogging began, Tweeted an opportunity that was too incredible to ignore.  I pursued, and 3 days later got offered the job on the spot, which changed my entire outlook on EVERYTHING.
It wasn’t easy entering a brand new world - I’ve taken big leaps, and given it my absolute all AND more.  My life has completely turned upside down – but feeling a sense of belonging and acceptance in a field and industry I absolutely live, love and breathe is what keeps the drive fuelled and spark alive, so alive, it hurts.

Anyone will tell you that life is difficult.  Believe me, I can tell you a million reasons as to why.  But, from being the girl who could barely speak, too frightened to even socialise, knocked down by a dozen job rejections, crippled by shyness, riddled in insecurity, and in search of a dream that I didn’t think or know was even possible – well let me tell you this, anything IS possible. 

I wrote this blog post in February 2011, yes.

The underlying truth is, you can be whoever you want to be in life.  If you have the passion, the love, the desire and the genie inside - one day it will surface and entirely blow you away.
Mine's WILD.  So wild. 
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