September
After a somewhat excruciating nine and a half hour shift
today at work, I had a startling realisation – I wanted to write. This isn’t
something unusual; I feel this yearning almost every morning and evening,
wondering what I could achieve through my writing given the chance. I often wake in the middle
of the night, restless over my thoughts. To say, I am unsettled is the biggest
understatement.
When I was eight years old, my biggest inspiration was
Harriet the Spy, my Mum took me to the cinema to see the little known Nickelodeon
film in spring 1997. It was love at first sight; I was every inch a Harriet
devotee. I admired her courage, fierce determination, but above all her passion
for her writing. She was a few years older than me, I saw her as a big sister
almost - she was the fictional role model of my life. And, some eighteen years
later I’m still looking up to her, making notes in my notebook and searching
for those replica binoculars like hers.
When my article got published in Travel3Sixty last month, I was
absolutely elated. Seeing my name in print for the the first time was a massive
achievement. I had dreamed of this moment for so long, and I wasn’t scared, or
embarrassed to be seen by thousands of people. I felt uplifted.
The reaction from my family, friends and work colleagues was
genuine amazement; they were so thrilled that I had penned an article about one
of my deepest passions. But in stark contrast, I was also met with a harrowing truth:
‘But, why are you not writing as a career?’
And that one question summed up my every
inner thought. Because, this question had been padlocked in my heart for over a
decade. I had searched for this answer so many times before and never found
it. But, this time things were different, because it wasn’t secret anymore. It
was real and everybody knew it.
I want to write until my hand hurts, I want to pour my every
thought out onto screen, and the bottom line is I don’t want… I need to find
the answer to the question that has consumed my life for all of this time.
If I have learnt one thing, it is that passion can take you
far further than you realise. Belief in yourself is the most valuable quality
to have in life. I’m a firm believer in dreams, destiny and strength. (If you
didn’t already know by now).
As September arrived this morning, I was met with an
enormous desire to make this ninth month different, the one that allows
spontaneity and welcomes creativity. When I arrived home from work, I ditched my bag, grabbed a banana
from the fruit bowl and changed this entire blog layout, simply because I WANTED to.
Thank you for stopping by, because one day I know I might
just happen to look back on today as significant.
♥
♥
You have such a way with words lady, I look forwards to your updates so much! Happy 1st September, let's make this month a great one! Ps, I love your new layout! Xx
ReplyDeleteRebecca, thank you as always it goes without saying how much ♥
DeleteYes, lets make September one to remember x x x
Your new layout looks great! It's amazing what can be achieved by reacting to an urge, without thinking, without question.
ReplyDeleteI gave every confidence that you will achieve your dream.
Hazel, doesn't it just? I need to take leaps more often and frequent!
DeleteYour faith in me, undoubtedly means so much ♥
x x x