After a somewhat excruciating nine and a half hour shift today at work, I had a startling realisation – I wanted to write. This isn’t something unusual; I feel this yearning almost every morning and evening, wondering what I could achieve through my writing given the chance. I often wake in the middle of the night, restless over my thoughts. To say, I am unsettled is the biggest understatement.
When I was eight years old, my biggest inspiration was Harriet the Spy, my Mum took me to the cinema to see the little known Nickelodeon film in spring 1997. It was love at first sight; I was every inch a Harriet devotee. I admired her courage, fierce determination, but above all her passion for her writing. She was a few years older than me, I saw her as a big sister almost - she was the fictional role model of my life. And, some eighteen years later I’m still looking up to her, making notes in my notebook and searching for those replica binoculars like hers.
When my article got published in Travel3Sixty last month, I was absolutely elated. Seeing my name in print for the the first time was a massive achievement. I had dreamed of this moment for so long, and I wasn’t scared, or embarrassed to be seen by thousands of people. I felt uplifted.
The reaction from my family, friends and work colleagues was genuine amazement; they were so thrilled that I had penned an article about one of my deepest passions. But in stark contrast, I was also met with a harrowing truth:
‘But, why are you not writing as a career?’
And that one question summed up my every inner thought. Because, this question had been padlocked in my heart for over a decade. I had searched for this answer so many times before and never found it. But, this time things were different, because it wasn’t secret anymore. It was real and everybody knew it.
I want to write until my hand hurts, I want to pour my every thought out onto screen, and the bottom line is I don’t want… I need to find the answer to the question that has consumed my life for all of this time.
If I have learnt one thing, it is that passion can take you far further than you realise. Belief in yourself is the most valuable quality to have in life. I’m a firm believer in dreams, destiny and strength. (If you didn’t already know by now).
As September arrived this morning, I was met with an enormous desire to make this ninth month different, the one that allows spontaneity and welcomes creativity. When I arrived home from work, I ditched my bag, grabbed a banana from the fruit bowl and changed this entire blog layout, simply because I WANTED to.
Thank you for stopping by, because one day I know I might just happen to look back on today as significant.