On Being Fierce
I have been feeling all kinds of emotions about fulfilling my passions and fuelling my ambitions lately. I feel a sense of wellbeing and clarity has come into my life at a point which is so defining...
|On my run this morning I felt a lot of compassion, especially when I passed a lady, who I warmly greeted with a confident 'good morning' - two simple words, which can simply uplift somebody.|
Up until only recently I never put myself first. There was always something or someone to answer to. I was a bit of a goody two shoes in all respect – I was scared to stand up for myself.
I think I have realised that, sometimes standing up for what is right (even though as complicated, scary or horrible as it can be) is crucial to self-improvement and development. Through my shyness I often dismissed disagreements or problems as my own fault. I never fought for a resolution.
When a friend told me I had a fierce streak in me a little while ago – I looked in the mirror that evening and looked carefully and paused, because she was right - I saw the raw fierceness staring back at me. Fierce wouldn’t be a word I would have ever associated with myself and I do worry that the definition of the word could suggest anger or aggression – I am definitely not in any way those.
I am a hugely heart-warming person, and I do get along with people well – the key point, as difficult as it might be to admit is that I don’t always get along with everybody.
I often find myself in situations where I relentlessly have some kind of conflict. Life shouldn’t be a battle or a fight – I know as much this and I do remind myself often - I am not ignorant in that sense. I think as a woman we all have temperamental personalities - it’s what makes us human after all, but maybe I'm just more temperamental than most.
I don’t know if I will always feel like this, I know my husband relentlessly wishes I would often be a little kinder and soften my personality. I think one day, my emotions and feelings will definitely change – instead of always immediately putting up barriers.
I really do believe in the saying that ‘what doesn’t kill you – makes you stronger’. In so many ways, I can feel this has been strongly tied into my life, emotionally, physically and psychologically. I downright refuse to let any negativity of the past creep into my present, and I guess in a way, this is where my fierceness stems from.
I’m both strong and fierce – they are my deepest personality traits by far. Using them in a positive way is my number one priority right now, and I know one day I will see things differently, but reflection and awareness are definitely a blessing.