Thursday, 30 January 2014

Tough Cookie

Hello. Remember me? 
January is always the tough one. Without a doubt making those plans for the year ahead, and painstakingly sticking to all those newly set resolutions is where the blues usually kick up momentum...

Worst photo and lighting ever. Can't you tell I'm a terrible poser.
Last January I set out to lose weight, and I wasn’t going to take no for an answer (I’d failed so many times before). I went onto lose 4 stone last year and have finally accepted my body the way it is. For the first time in my life I finally felt worthy – like I wasn’t this horrible ogre anymore, hiding away in baggy clothes.  I also took up running, which has undoubtedly changed my entire life – it is the best decision I ever made to put on my trainers and bite the bullet and go for a run. It was the start of a whole new life for me. 
Ribbon and brooches used on our wedding invitations.
This year things are different. I get married in less than four months’ time- a day which has been so meticulously planned and anticipated over the past two years.  As it grows closer, I feel those tiny flutters in my stomach, wondering whether I will be able to cope with all the attention and eyes on me – if you know me at all, you will know I carry a shy side. One that has always shadowed me and often crippled me.  
But of course, I remember I am marrying my love, the man I dreamed of marrying from being a little girl. His undying love and affection will get me through the camera lens and spotlight. I have his hand in marriage, and that is what I am truly blessed with. 
Food, glorious food. All baked in my own kitchen.
My goals and dreams don’t seem as scary or impractical; I feel more fire in my stomach. I’ve picked up many skills on my way and am still on my quest to find the balance of happiness and success.
Weights a funny one, because although I have nothing more to lose, which sometimes does play havoc in my mind. Remaining on a diet is just part of my everyday life now – I eat well, and I eat plenty – I choose not to eat certain foods, and I am proud that I can make that choice and see the benefits. The thing I have learnt is that being on a diet, learning to home cook  rich and nutritious meals is hard, I still struggle now (Sophie wrote something that really struck a chord with me here),  but as you go along you learn there is so much more to food than you realise. You learn to love to cook, and you learn what is good for you.
Pumpkin soup ... divine!
My running has been consistent for over 6months now – I run on average 3-4 times a week, running a 5k distance each run. I do push myself to hit times and believe me I know what it’s like to feel pain. The cold conditions and unpredictable weather is an obstacle, but I work with it and I look forward to a brighter, richer spring ahead.
My highlight of January? Running a spontaneous 10k in a sub 50 time.  Posting our wedding invitations out and getting creative in my kitchen making an incredible onion and chive loaf, and a wholesome pumpkin soup. 
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