Feeling 24

Yesterday I turned 24 – which I had been dreading for months, wondering where time had gone, worrying myself silly that I hadn’t achieved what I had wanted to by this age.  And then yesterday it finally hit me – I’ve achieved far more than I ever could have imagined and this alone is more important and invaluable than anything else.

I’ve always been shy, reserved, and lacked incredible confidence in myself – and I knew deep down this had always been linked to my appearance and weight.  I have never felt attractive, worthy or even worth looking at before.  I’ve always seen myself as fat and ugly.

  

In January of this year enough was enough – 23 years of hiding behind a shadow of insecurity.  I knew something had to change.  I never believed what people said about weight loss, that it’s hard to see a slimmer version of yourself in the mirror and for months now I’ve been staring back at the same reflection – still lacking confidence, still hiding in baggy clothes and not being able to see a change and up until yesterday I still couldn’t see it.  I couldn’t even dare to believe it. 

When I put on this dress yesterday evening I finally saw the reflection staring back at me – and something was different.  The girl staring back was no longer a scared little girl anymore – she was a brave, young, and attractive woman.  

I held my head high yesterday evening, and even dared to smile.  Because I was happy.  And if it’s taken me all this time to realise that the key to happiness is confidence, then I’m going to cherish every single moment from now on. 

♥