Thursday, 11 April 2013

Everybody Hurts.

I always no matter what follow my heart and have always found my only comfort in expressing my thoughts through my writing.  My last post was so poignant for me, because I’d been offered a job – a job I thought was the 'real deal', something I could actually call a job, and this was finally the end to all that mountain of never ending rejection.  This was me genuinely thrilled, happy, overjoyed and grateful for the opportunity.  
 
When you are so convinced something is so right for you, and then it turns out to be completely the opposite to what you thought, imagined and wanted it to be, you can’t help but feel ultimately crushed, broken, angry, hurt and disappointedI am feeling all of these emotions and more right now.

I got offered the job and couldn’t quite believe my luck, I believed I had changed, I thought my confidence had got better and that I wasn’t severely lacking any - it’s now apparent that I probably wasn’t that different than usual, it’s that I was hired solely because they were desperate for staff.  Believe me I am not asking for miracles, I am not asking for a top end job, with a fetching salary, I just want to be treated with some respect and hired out of good will and suitability for the job, not out of desperation.

I won’t go into great detail, but physical demands of the job were unbelievable and that even a much stronger and taller person would struggle with.  How on earth can someone at 5'1" be expected to be on their feet 12 hours a day, pulling a heavy weight around.  The fact that I wasn’t given proper training and basically told to do three shadow sessions, and then work on my own completely from then on, was truly ludicrous.

The thing I cannot understand is why at interview they failed to mention any of this to me and the job advertised wasn’t the true description of the role.  Of course I am disappointed, what I thought was the best opportunity I’ve ever had, has somehow spiralled into the worst experience I’ve ever had.  My confidence in myself and my ability is in tatters – I have zero, I barely could make it out of the house today, without having to hold back tears.

To add to the upset, I gave my charity shop job up for this, and I found out today it’s too late to get it back – meaning I have given up something I loved and was good at for absolutely nothing.  I feel so stupid and cheated.  All I ever wanted was a job, just like everybody else.  Some money coming into the house and some routine in my life.  

 Right now I’ve never felt so defeated.
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17 comments

  1. I'm so sorry Alice, i'm sorry that you have been led to believe that the job was something different to what it has turned out to be. That is really unfair of them. xxx

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  2. Oh Alice, my heart goes out to you. I don't really know what to say, except to tell you that you are a wonderful person so please don't let this new disappointment cause you to doubt yourself. It is so unfair that you have been mislead in this way, but you can and will bounce back yet again. You have the support of lots of people who do believe in you, try to take heart from that. (((hugs)))

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  3. so many hugs to you <3 xxxxxxxxxx

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  4. Oh what a shame! One day the right job will come along, just keep believing that.
    Liz @ Shortbread & Ginger

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  5. oh Alice, I didn't know about the charity shop job too. Do the company have any other jobs they can offer you? I think you need to send them a letter/email outlining that you are really disappointed and what they did wrong or it might happen to someone else xx

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    1. I sent them a letter the day after - outlining the problems I had and the unfairness of the job description/interview etc.
      They replied amicably - saying they had taken my points into consideration and hoped to introduce them into future interviews/employment.
      xxx

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  6. Thats terrible, hope something works out better for you soon.

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  7. *Big hugs* I'm so sorry to hear this Alice. I know you've been so down about job hunting and now this happens when you think something is finally going right! Life can be so very cruel and unfair sometimes but you've got to keep your chin up and carry on! There HAS to be the perfect job out there waiting for you for, maybe not right now but it will pop up at some point! It WILL happen Alice! Are there any other charity shops you could volunteer at? I know it will mean getting to know new people but that isn't so bad, I always find charity shop workers to be lovely and chatty! Don't feel too bad Alice, something good will come along. xxx

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  8. Sorry to hear what seemed such good thing has not turned out as such

    Victoria x

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  9. This absolutely sucks - I'm so sorry that they basically lied to you and didn't give you all the info you needed. Disgraceful of them. I hope you don't feel too bad, remember it wasn't your fault at all! xxx

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  10. Just found your blog and loving it. Maybe we can follow each other on GFC or bloglovin? Please feel free to stop by my blog and let me know. XO

    http://mevamarie.blogspot.com/

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  11. Oh Alice, I've only just seen this. I really hope things are feeling a little better now. That's so awful of them, unfortunately a lot of employers seem to be pulling stunts like that at the moment. It's not your fault at all though. Take care lovely xxx

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  12. Alice, I'm so sorry to read this. I didn't realise, hence my rather tactless congratulatory comment on your previous post (I'm such an idiot!).

    It was wrong of your employers not to make it clear exactly how physically demanding the role was, especially when you interviewed in person and they could see you were quite slight in build.

    It serves noone, especially you, to be misleading like this. You must feel gutted about the charity shop job too but make it clear to the manager that you're available again whenever they have a vacancy and they will surely prioritise you.

    Could you try volunteering for a few hours at another local charity shop in the meantime? I think it's really important for you right now to get out of the house and do something you enjoy that's good for your self-esteem.

    Don't give up honey xxx

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    1. I've started volunteering at Cancer Research again - (a different branch) and I'm really enjoying it so far, although it is only voluntary I do feel I am getting something from it, which is at least something xxx

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  13. Hi Alice,
    This is the first time I've ever seen your blog, and I've just read your post, and really feel for you. I'm so happy to hear that you've found a new volunteering position.
    Life can be a real ***** at times, but when life goes sour on you and decides to give you a lemon, you know what you have to do? You TAKE that LEMON, and make the best lemonade you can. It's your way of sticking two fingers up at life, and showing it who's boss!! Remember whatever doesn't kill you can only make you stronger!!!
    Your name 'Alice' means nobility and one who is highly exalted, so remember your roots and where you are coming from, and ensure your spirits remain high(ly exalted).
    Stay blessed and beautiful. God loves you xoxo

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