Thursday, 13 December 2012

Take A Chance On Me?

I’m no stranger to unemployment, I wrote about my on-going struggle a few weeks ago, and I was touched by your support regarding the issue. I have spent years upon years searching for a job, and I have been so close to gaining employment in roles I have applied for. Jobs I have wanted so badly, jobs I wouldn’t have taken for granted. Someone, somewhere for whatever reason has decided not to give me that chance, and there is not one single thing I can do to change that.

It’s impossible to explain just how much anger I have when a company rejects me, I can’t just shrug it off like it never happened. I do take it to heart, and see it as an insult, because it’s not just one rejection in the grand scheme of things- it’s a force full of rejection. Knowing you have given something your absolute all, and it still not being good enough time and time again.

I try not to bottle it all up, but sometimes- like today it explodes, and knowing I have attended in the region of 70-80 failed job interviews in the last couple of years, makes me feel pretty shit about myself y’know. Single interviews, telephone interviews, group interviews, second stage interviews, third stage interviews, trial days- I’ve been there, done that, got the t-shirt.

All those people behind those desks, behind those questions, behind those jobs have decided I am not good enough. And brushed me aside, not given me that chance I so desperately wanted. It’s not normal to have attended that many interviews- I do know that, and I know most people probably have got every job they’ve ever gone for, or had a handful of rejections in their lives. Everyone is different, but the sheer volume I’ve had and been unsuccessful for is ridiculous. And forgive me for saying- totally unfair. Today I really questioned what I have done to deserve this.

I am shy, I am quiet, and I am under-experienced, but that doesn’t make me a bad person. All I want to do is work for someone and prove not only to myself, but to the world I am capable. The jobs I have previously had may have been short-term, but that decision was completely out of my hands, to tell me I haven’t got enough experience is a catch 22- I can’t get any more experience until someone is willing to give it me.

The truth is I am worn out, despairing and tired of all forms of rejection I have received on so many levels. The day someone takes a chance on me, will be the day I can finally find the confidence to put this behind me.

I know it’s nearly Christmas, and I know getting myself upset will only spoil things. I feel sad that this year should have been significant- I got engaged and got my driving licence, but this on-going struggle will most certainly take me into 2013. I have to keep fighting for my chance, my break, because I know in my heart it does exist.

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20 comments

  1. :( I feel so bad for you, I know how hard it is at the moment. When business hasn't been great I've always applied for part time jobs and even though I've worked since I was 14 and have quite a lot of experience in retail, I never got anything so had to struggle on. I really hope you get something soon and someone sees how much you have to offer to them! xo

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    1. I have questioned it so many times- I've applied for so many jobs and never heard back. It's such a competitive market and all I can think is that there are far too many applicants per job xxx

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  2. I feel for you Alice, I really do. How incredibly frustrating and demoralising. I really hope that 2013 is the year for you. Don't give up. xx

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    1. I vow not to ever give up, I know deep down I'm a fighter and I will keep fighting xxx

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  3. I totally understand everything you just said, and you're right, it's impossible not to take it to heart. But just know there are so many others in exactly the same position as you are right now and it's such a shame, but it's really no reflection on you as a person. Never give up, because your time will come! <3

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    1. Awww Jennie your comment totally made me smile. Thank you for understanding, a lot of the time people tell me not to take it to heart and toughen up, but at the end of the day a rejection is a rejection- there is nothing plainer than that. Until you are in that position and are the one getting that email/letter/phone call saying you've been unsuccessful the feeling isn't real xxx

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  4. I really do feel for you lovely <3 It is incredibly frustrating and disheartening but you are a lovely person with a lot to give. Don't give up and never feel that you are not good enough xxx

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    1. Awww thank you, so much. It means a lot to hear someone say that. And I know in my heart I do have a lot to give, that's what makes me so sad that nobody sees the real potential in me xxx

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  5. It must be horrible, Alice. You must be the most determined and persistent person ever.
    Have you ever got any feedback from interviewers to give you a clue as to why they chose your CV but not you?
    I'm keeping my fingers crossed that 2013 turns out to be a much more successful year. xxx

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    1. A lot of the interviews I have requested feedback from and it tends to be the experience factor. A lot of the jobs more recently have told me they have got candidates with years of experience over me. It's a difficult one, but I do know it's hard to get a foot in the door in any job/company, especially when you don't have a solid work background. If passion could outweigh experience I would shine xxx

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  6. It is no wonder you feel so bad Alice, but it also tells me you are a trier. Being quiet and shy is no bad thing, you'll probably be more hard working and diligent than those a lot louder outgoing.
    In order to gain 'experience' how about volunteering a couple of days a week in a charity shop, the ones round here are always looking out for helpers. It would give you retail experience, show a good work ethic and hopefully boost your confidence.

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    1. I am naturally shy and I know this is my downfall, especially in interview situations- where I do find it difficult to speak and be myself. You are right though, I always try my hardest and I will carry on trying for as long as it takes.
      I've just started volunteering in a charity shop two days a week. I'm really enjoying the experience and know that this is a positive to come out of all this xxx

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  7. I really feel for you.
    The whole experience thing is quite frankly ridiculous, nobody will every get any if they aren't given the chance.
    Keep your head held up, someone will give you a chance soon xx

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    1. Thank you Em. It's all a very unfair way- of course it looks good if you have 10+ years’ experience, but how on earth are people ever going to gain that experience if the jobs are being taken by the people already experienced xxx

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  8. Aww Alice. I really hope that 2013 will be your year in terms of employment.
    Experience is a real catch-22 situation and unfortunately with so many people going for one job at the moment it is usually the thing that separates people from each other.
    I cannot recommend volunteering enough. There is not just charity shops that will offer retail experience, but also animal charities that can offer more hands on and practical experience and a multitude of other opportunities are out there too... http://www.do-it.org.uk/ is a good site.
    It will help with your shyness, show you have a willingness to work and meanwhile keeps your experience fresh. The various voluntary roles I have had has really helped me when it comes to getting a paid job.
    I hope things brighten for you soon :) xx

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    1. Thank you Rebecca. It's really encouraging to know I have your support. I did a small voluntary role over the summer at a country hall, and am hoping to go back next year when season opens again.
      Right now I am currently volunteering in a charity shop. I'm finding it very good experience and it is something I genuinely enjoy. I actually found it through that website too!
      I think my next step now is being able to speak about it positively at interview and point out my willingness to work and what I have gained from the role xxx

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  9. Alice, i know great things are destined for you next year. This year has been a great one for you, just getting engaged and passing your driving test are enough to make 2012 a memorable year for you. I know it seriously sucks but keep trudging forward, i know something's coming for you - i can feel it, not to mention you're wedding! I believe in you! Have faith, trust and Pixie dust!

    Kat xx

    PS. Something exciting is in the post for you! Keep an eye out (: xx

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    1. Kat, you are my absolute rock. I know you've known my struggle for a while now, and I'm so glad I've got you to help inspire me. Just reading those words right now- you've made me REALISE 2012 has been memorable, it would be wrong to say it hasn't been.

      I am proud of my driving licence and so so thrilled with my engagement (The Mr certainly is my hero) but a job...would have been the final piece of the jigsaw. But I know we can't all have what we want, when we want (we all know that).

      Here's to faith, trust and Pixie dust ♥
      xxx

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  10. Oh Alice, I don't know what to say. I hope you enjoy Christmas, put this year behind you and take the engagement and all the positive things into 2013. Someone will see something in you that they love and think is right for their company xx

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    1. I'm determined to put this bad patch behind me Gem. Of course there are positive things and sometimes it's easy to just look at the bad, but I know something good will come of all this in the end. xxx

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