Monday, 22 January 2018

And then just like that … our son entered the world.

Joshua Dennis Taylor arrived 3 days late on the 10th January 2018 at 6:40am.

I can still recall the first sight, the first touch, the first cry. My husband proudly declaring ‘it’s a boy’ as the midwifes carefully placed our son onto my chest. My hand shaking with adrenaline, tears of relief, exhaustion and overwhelming happiness streaming down my face. I have never felt a moment so pure. All the 9 months of pregnancy had ultimately led us to the birth of our first child. It was the dream we had carried in our hearts for so many years. On our wedding day, on honeymoon, on birthdays, we had always remained certain that ‘one day’ we would become a family.  

I never knew how I would really feel, I don’t think anyone can ever prepare you for the most life-changing moment of your life.  Just when I thought pregnancy had given me all the hormones – the days which followed giving birth were even more emotional than ever before. I found myself sobbing uncontrollably in the shower. It was a moment of purest clarity. I had not only grown a human being inside of me, but he was finally here with us.

12 days in, it’s hard to believe that so much has changed. I still remember what life was like before, but I wouldn’t ever go back. Because, life with Joshua has made us complete. We waited a long time for him to come along and he has made all our dreams, hopes and aspirations real.

I’m a Mummy now. 


Wednesday, 20 December 2017

The one where I panic, anticipate and say goodbye to 2017…

2017 was the year that made me tear up the rule book, knock down the imaginary ladder and let my heart love like it has never loved before.
I had never really believed in ‘how life can change in * a year etc’

Since getting married, everything has been structured. Holidays have been planned way in advance and life goals have been firmly set out. I took a huge leap into the unknown a few years ago and took a brand-new job, which then led to moving to a new house to a new county and a new way of life.

It was stressful, restless, incredible, fulfilling, testing and jam-packed. We continued to travel at pace… hello Vietnam, Malaysia, NYC & Bali. I even ran a full marathon. But, let’s face it – I wasn’t ever truly settled.  

When we arrived back from Bali in April this year, I found out I was pregnant – my sense of self and worth balanced out for the first time in my entire life. I knew that this was what we both had been waiting for… the next chapter.
I’m so grateful for our trip to Bali, and I still believe that all those trips prior to the final big one – made the journey complete.

Pregnancy has been a complete whirlwind, I have changed in so many ways and have finally learned to love and appreciate every part of my body – just the way it is. It’s pretty incredible growing a human being.

2018 is set to bring joy, and with a due date looming, I’m told that babies have a way of coming when they want to, so I’m not tying myself down to my due date. The question is will baby arrive before 2017 is out, or be ‘as predicted’ a very early 2018 arrival. I guess, only fate will lead us there.

As we hit 37 weeks last weekend, the reality of giving birth hit me like a ton of bricks, can I really do this? I’m certain that my strongest trait is determination – so it’s time I put that to the test.

As for, blogging, social media and everything in between, it’s time to turn it off now. I think the final weeks (or days) with my husband will be completely wholesomely valuable without the distraction of a phone or laptop screen.

Next time I appear online… we might just have an announcement.

Thank you as always for supporting this blog and taking time to read my words. 

Thursday, 14 December 2017

The baby name…

I always imagined from a young age choosing a baby name would be a creative challenge for me. Growing up adoring Jacqueline Wilson books made me set on choosing unusual children names too. Star and Dolphin are still on the reserve list, just saying.
But, twenty-something years later finding myself with a growing bump and a husband who is just as much a part of this as me (yes, biology kids), was it really that easy choosing a name?

As with all aspects of marriage, I found the baby name process to be a war of words. Insulting each other’s choice of names lasted for about five minutes, as it soon became apparent that we were walking a fine line between hurting one and other feelings or coming up with the most magical word ever.

Well… we got to choose two names, as we haven’t found out the sex of the baby. I’m certain the other name will be put into reserve for a future offspring/pet/goldfish. But, the two names we have chosen are like the best kept secret in the universe.
Because, however many people ask – my lips are sealed. I have carried around the secret for nearly as long as the bump!

When I spotted the girls baby name on a ‘most popular’ 2018 baby name list, I panicked just a little. What if suddenly there is a boom of ‘****’ – but then I remembered that however popular the name might seem or be predicted to become, it’s the name we chose for our precious little one.

As the ninth month of pregnancy lasts clearly a million days (AHEM years), I am counting down the days until maybe we might meet our baby. I’ve also factored in the pain and every account of labour I have read. Because, right now I’ve got the marathon bean in me – the last leg is by far the hardest, most gruelling, unruly, torturous, and unpleasant. But the one that provides the finish line.

Yes… in sight. 

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